Losing Their Cool
by Aerosophical
Summary: It's unbelievable at how Byakuya and Ulquiorra are always so emotionless. In this story Renji and Grimmjow try to drive Ulquiorra and Byakuya crazy, to see which one will lose it first. Rated T for language. Completed until further notice.
1. The Bet

Losing Their Cool: The Bet

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. 

Summary: It's the end of the war with Aizen and Grimmjow and the Shingami are on good terms for the moment. Grimmjow's pretty much pissed at how Ulquiorra can always keep an emotionless Facade. Renji's sick of how Byakuya is always being a bitch not showing any emotion. So they make a bet by seeing who can break the emotionless wall first. Who will break first Ulquiorra or Byakuya? Rated T for language.

* * *

Huzzah! The war with Aizen was finally over, leaving both Soul Society and the Espada in a truce. Aizen along with Tousen and Gin were dead. Tensions seemed high between the two groups however, since each group was equally spent they decided to set aside their differences for a resting period. Grimmjow who didn't really care for Hueco Mundo, left for Soul Society. He was sort of the messenger between the two worlds acting as the peacekeeper. 

It was amazing how much Grimmjow could interact with the shinigami on equal terms. In fact, some people even considered Grimmjow a fellow shinigami even though he did eat souls every now and then. He loved going on for drinks and sake with Matsumoto, Shuuhei, Renji, and Shunsui on some occasions. He was heading to one of the local bars in the Rukongai district, coming from Soul Society. He ran into in to a certain captain of Squad 6. While Byakuya was on order from Yamamoto Sou-taichou not to kill the certain teal haired espada, he did not have to give him any answers to any of his questions.

"Whoops must have took a wrong turn somewhere here…" Grimmjow muttured as he bumped in to Byakuya.

"Excuse me what are the likes of you doing around my division." Byakuya stated in an emotionless town.

" Err I was headed to the Rukongai 88th district, do you happen to know where that is?"

"It's completely in the opposite direction" Byakuya waved to the east.

"Right, right thanks." Then Grimmjow shunpoed off not wanting to be late for his weekly 'meeting' with his friends.

* * *

Little did he know however, that Byakuya sent him completely in the wrong direction from where he should have gone. Of course Byakuya knew this; he did not like the idea of an Espada lurking around Soul Society anyway. So he sent him to the battle loving 11th division to be "taken care of."

* * *

Meanwhile back with Grimmjow…. 

"THAT FUCKING BITCH!" Grimmjow shouted as soon as someone from the 11th division told him that the 88th district was back where he came from. Unfortunately he ran in to Zaraki and had to "play with him" for a while. Zaraki didn't kill him of course but it was one hell of a fight. He was coated in blood sure but that was nothing compared to what he would do to Byakuya.

"Jeez he's like fucking Ulquiorra when he gets pissed at me for disobeying his precious Aizen-Sama. Well screw him where is his Aizen Sama now? Dead like the rest of em. Well whatever…"

He quickly sped off back where he came from and into a bar in the 88th Rukongai District, where he met up with Matsumoto, Renji, and Shuuhei.

"What the hell took you so long?" Renji asked.

" Some captain from… I think the 6th division completely pointed me out in the wrong direction." Grimmjow stated flatly.

"Eh but that's my captain Kuchki-taichou?!" Renji said in a curious tone.

"Jeez he's almost like that fuckin Ulquiorra back at Hueco Mundo. Always emotionless trying to be aristocratic all the time; it's freaking annoying! Just wish he would get freakin angry and punch me in the face or something. I bet Byakuya is the same."

A pissed Grimmjow said.

"I've never met Ulquiorra in person but your probably right on that note, he might lose his cool but he definitely does not show it." Renji stated.

"How about we have a bet to see which one will lose it first?" Grimmjow told everyone at that table.

"Interesting but what are the conditions?" Renji asked intriguingly asked.

"You can do whatever you want to see who will completely lose their emotions first. And I mean ANYTHING with a huge emphasis on ANYTHING."

Matsumoto and Shuuhei were not really paying attention but at the mention of a bet they both wanted in on it.

"Sign me and Shuuhei up!" Matsumoto said. Besides it's better than paperwork all the time, she thought.

They all shook on it with the current standings of: Shuuhei and Renji bet that Byakuya would lose his emotions completely. Matsumoto and Grimmjow bet that Ulquiorra would certainly lose it first.

The bet was on!

* * *

Preview: "What?! You want me to steal his Kenseikan?!?!" Renji asked Shuuhei unbelievably.

* * *

A/N: Okay this chapter seems a little dull but it's basically the intro. If you want me to continue leave a review asking me to do so! 

Any mistakes that you would like to point out are cool too. I didn't even research much about it so if Kuchiki's division is not close to the 88th Rukongai area sorry!

And I think the story is too short but what do you think? Mind you I probably won't update 2000 words each chapter. But more reviews will get me to type up each chapter faster!

Dunno if I should get a beta reader either what to do..what to do...


	2. Renji & Shuuhei's Plan

Renji & Shuuhei's Plan

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.**

* * *

It had been roughly around a day since the bet was made between the four. Shuuhei and Renji were busy planning on what to do to Byakuya but, at some point they would always find something wrong with their plans.

"How about stealing his Zanpaktou when he's not looking?" Shuuhei asked.

"Would never work and besides he would Senbonzakura our asses if he even found out that we were trying to even steal it."

They were both thinking about modifying his physical appearance when Shuuhei whispered to him. Renji just shuddered at the thought… of stealing his kenseikan.

"You want me to steal his kenseikan?!? How am I even supposed to get that close? He is practically wearing it all the time. A sign of a noble he says but I think he just wears it so he looks cool but really it's a sign of him being a pain in the ass. Even getting near him is hard enough!"

"Okay well here is the plan you just pour some sake to everyone at the next Kuchiki dinner and see what happens. Besides it's going to be funny to see how the nobles get drunk and let lose. Just seeing Byakuya drunk is going to be hysterical enough. I mean it's not like they will remember anything when they get up." Shuuhei added.

Meanwhile back at the Kuchiki household….

"Achoo!" Byakuya sneezed.

"Hmm I think I'm coming down with a cold. I should probably just skip dinner tonight." He thought.

He had someone get him some medicine and water and he turned in to hit the hay. Not literally of course. However Renji did not count the possibility that the captain may be sick instead of at the dinner…

* * *

Dinner with the Kuchiki household…

"Did you slip in some sake to everyone?" Shuuhei asked.

"Yeah but I think Byakuya brought his food back to his room, I've heard he has caught a cold recently.

"Well at least there will be no witnesses y' know. The plan is good enough though, lets go to his room after everyone has gotten drunk. It will just be easier that way."

So they waited and waited to find that the sake had worked on everyone. They also found out that the Kuchiki clan wasn't as uptight as everyone thought they were. Well not drunk they weren't. In fact you could probably call 'em party animals. Hey the fact of the matter was that all of Sereitei would hear the legendary Kuchiki Part that lasted for a day. Their rep was basically going to be trashed.

* * *

Back with Renji and Shuuhei….

"Okay how exactly are we supposed to get his kenseikan off his head when he's still wearing it?" Shuuhei asked

"Look it's no big deal I have seen him wear this thing just about a million times. It's probably the same way to get it out eh?"

"Yeah, yeah just hurry up and get it."

Thirty minutes later….

"Got it! See it wasn't that hard."

"Are you freaking kidding me you took about 30 minutes just to get the damn thing off!"

"So at least I got it off, which reminds me don't you think we should check up on them?"

As they arrived on the scene they couldn't believe what they saw. Just about half of Sereitei came and partied along with them! It seemed that a certain Matsumoto wanted to kill their chances of winningby inviting half of Sereitei. I mean after all how could you win if Kuchiki clan murdered you when they found out that you "disgraced them"?

"Look let's just get out of here FAST."

The two people shunpoed off hoping that no one would notice that they were behind these…events.

* * *

The next day…

As Byakuya woke up, he felt that something was amiss mainly with his hair…

"What the hell? I could have sworn I was wearing the kenseikan to bed yesterday. Well it's no problem anyway." thought Byakuya.

He walked over to his drawers and opened them revealing a drawer full of kenseikan.

"I'm glad I always keep extras with me it would make me look bad if I had unruly hair."

Upon this scene, Renji entered with a surprised look on his face.

"Is there something wrong Renji?"

"No..no err just forgot something at Shuuhei's" as he slowly backed away.

He quickly ran into to Shuuhei who was checking up if Byakuya was freaking out or anything.

"So how'd the plan go?" Shuuhei asked

"Definitely. Not. Good. It turns out he keeps extras in the drawer in his room…"

"Fuck! And considering the mess we made there I think he would probably pissed…which reminds me, bye!" As Shuuhei ran off he left Renji puzzled.

"What the hell?" Renji thought.

As he turned around he saw Kuchiki Byakuya and although he did not show any emotion he could tell that he was definitely pissed.

"Scatter Senbonzakura."

* * *

_Preview: "Hey 'Hime could you do me a favor?" Masumoto asked._

A/N: Seriously I feel this story is very dull. I need someone to help me out with writing the humor parts. Because I flat out don't think they are funny. I might consider cancelling this story /.


	3. The Date

Matsumoto and Grimmjow's plan

Disclaimer I do not own Bleach or any of it's characters. I do not own the song Sen No Yoru Wo Koete either.

AN: Just had to put this up here first to warn some IshidaxOrihime fans. This fic is mainly going to go IchiRuki and UlquiorraxOrihime. So if you don't like it well too bad. Anyway this chapter shows some UlquiorraxOrihime and it is very OOC considering I don't even read the Bleach Manga. So without further ado, here is chapter 3!

* * *

"I still can't believe that I have to team up with you!" Grimmjow shouted 

"Hey! Well I am the brains behind the whole operation after all!" Matsumoto said back

"Tch. Well what do we do now since apparently YOU'RE THE BRAINS."

"Ahaha...well you see... it's like this..." as Matsumoto rambled on trying to fumble an answer, Grimmjow knew she didn't have a plan- he did however.

"Right seeing how you can't come up with an answer, I'll give a suggestion. Y'know while I was back at Hueco Mundo Ulquiorra did not like going to Orihime's cell in the beginning. But, it seems she grew on him and was able to break his stony facade-if even for a fraction of a second."

"I have an idea! Let's set those two up on a date! I'm sure that Orihime won't mind." Matsumoto stated proudly. It was obvious that she just got the idea from Grimmjow anyway.

"That's not the problem...you see Ulquiorra is a bit of a prick when you ask him to do something. Especially if you ask him to go out on a date with someone."

"Okay then, just tell him that he's going to a Shinigami/ Hollow meeting or something? Or better yet if he's prone to guilt, you can guilt him into the date. Since he owes Inoue that much, after he kidnapped her and all."

"Yeah that's probably best. Just go and take care of Inoue then. Just tell her that he'll meet up with her around 8 o'clock, that should be good a good time." As he said those words, he opened up and stepped into the portal behind them and left for Hueco Mundo.

"Yosh! Phase one is time to be put into action!" Matsumoto said aloud in her gigai form.

"_Plus another step closer for me to get more money for my sake outings and shopping!"_ She thought happily, and strolled off to Inoue's house. Not without several looks from many men as she walked down the street. ;D

Meanwhile back at Hueco Mundo...

"Grimmjow how you even convinced me to come is beyond my comprehension." Ulquiorra said in a slightly annoyed tone.

He was actually getting prepared for the "date" with Inoue. He was getting fitted into a gigai which was specifically designed by Urahara, so that any Espada with the right reiatsu, could look like a human. Sure, Ulquiorra was pale for a human but still it was better than his usual half mask, and green lines down his face.

"Hey what can I say? I'm a _very_ convincing person." Grimmjow said with a grin. The truth was Nell softened him up in that department.

* * *

_Flashback..._

_As Grimmjow stepped into the halls of Los Noches he still couldn't convince himself that this was going to work. Sure, he had the plan figured out but, something in the back of his mind convinced him otherwise. He walked to the single Espada member that was sitting at the long, horizontal table. _

"_Here goes nothing." He thought._

"_Ulquiorra since we are on... a truce with Shinigami for right now, they need you to discuss some matters as of right now."_

"_Why don't you just go then. It seems you have been "bonding" with Soul Society a lot lately." _

"_See that's the thing. More than likely I'm going to screw things up if I open my mouth. So it's better if you go since you always think before you act." Grimmjow was laughing on the inside when he said this. Since it was more like a trademark to Ulquiorra that he ALWAYS thought before he acted. So Grimmjow was trying to appeal to his sense of pride or, rather his ego. If he had any that was. _

"_Fine, so where and when is this "Shinigami meeting". Ulquiorra said plainly._

"_InaKarakurarestaurantat8PM." Grimmjow said quickly, anxious to get out of there as fast as he could._

"_What? You just said some incoherent things that I could not understand." As he eyed Grimmjow from afar._

" _I SAID IN A KARAKURA RESTAURANT AT 8 PM!" _

"_Why a location such as that?"_

"_Err so that no one will be able to pull anything funny?" Grimmjow said quickly_

"_Sounds reasonable." Ulquiorra said._

"_There's one more thing...you have to wear a Gigai, since it will look suspicious if someone is talking to nobody in a restaurant." Grimmjow dragged an inanimate body that was made by Urahara so that Ulquiorra could use this plain Gigai. It looked like Ulquiorra in a sense, when he was once human._

"_No. I don't know who has made that, or if it could be a trap."_

"_Look it's a standard thing! Even I do it!" Grimmjow shouted._

"_Look I'll just have Nell go in there to show that it's FINE. Nell GET IN HERE!" He shouted._

"_What do you want I just got up..." Nell groggily said._

"_Here I want you to show this bastard that there is nothing wrong with this Gigai." _

"_Fine. As long as can get back to sleep soon." She entered the Gigai and had a strange espression on her face. _

"_It's fine but..."_

"_What is it?" Ulquiorra questioningly asked. _

"_It's kinda heavy and it feels weird."_

"_So they trapped it so I couldn't run away fast if there's a sign of trouble. How clever Grimmjow. Bringing me a trapped Gigai will do wonders for me."_

"_It's not that. It's umm the fact that it's slight heavier than what I'm used to."_

"_So it's a real, heavy body. That's normal." Grimmjow said._

"_YOUR NOT GETTING IT! If I were to kick you right there, it would hurt". She said, just pointing right below Grimmjow's waist belt. _

"_O...Oh." Both Grimmjow and Ulquiorra said in disbelief._

"_Well if you two are done, then can I get out of this body? It's uncomfortable enough without you two staring at me." _

"_Yeah sure, just umm do what you were doing before." Grimmjow said still slightly in disbelief._

_She stepped out of the Gigai and quickly ran off to her room in the white-halled castle. _

"_Right, well see! I told you it wasn't trapped!" Grimmjow said triumphantly._

"_Yes fine, now get out I need to think about the preparations." Ulquiorra said._

"_Whatever floats your boat." He said with a careless wave and left Ulquiorra to think and prepare._

_He wondered how Matsumoto was doing. I mean it's pretty easy to convince Inoue to go along with the plans. The one thing he forgot to mention was WHO he was meeting up with._

* * *

Meanwhile back at Inoue's house... 

Knock!

SS

Knock!

Knock!

"Hello! Anyone in?" Matsumoto said.

"Ohayo! Rangiku-san!" Inoue said happily as she opened up the door.

"Ohayo 'Hime!"

"So what brings you around to Karakura?" Inoue asked.

"Well I need you to do a favor, see. It's about Ulquiorra." She was hoping that Inoue wouldn't take it too hard since well, he did kidnap her after all in the first place.

"Oh... umm what is is about?" You could tell by the look in her eyes that she was reminiscing about Ulquiorra's and how she wondered if he was getting along well. In truth they both liked each other for a time but that was all behind them. Wasn't it?

"How would you like to go on a date with Ulquiorra?" Matsumoto said.

"A d-d-date?? How would you even convince him to go along with that plan?" Inoue said disbelievingly.

"Grimmjow's in on it." So she quickly revealed her true motives to Inoue and hoped she would go along with it.

"Oh is that all? I shall do my best!" Inoue chirped happily.

"Great well, the dinner is at 8 PM at a restaurant here in Karakura town."

"Sure I'll be there." In truth, Inoue missed Ulquiorra's day after day visits when she was in Los Noches. Sure, he was on orders to feed her but, as far as that place went, that was the best thing any one could do. Besides, practically anyone visited her nowadays besides Tatsuki. So she left the room and went to her room to change. So she picked out a shimmering, velevet dress with her usual hairclips and a tied-up hair style. Much like the hair-style she wore when she was in Sereitei rescuing Rukia.

* * *

BEEP 

BEEP.

BEEP.

That signaled that it was time to get a move-on for Ulquiorra. So he opened up a portal in his new Gigai form, and left for Karakura town. He was just wearing a plain white suit, nothing out of the ordinary, for him at least.

So Inoue and Ulquiorra both made their way to the restaurant. Ulquiorra definitely did not plan on seeing Orihime here at all. Ulquiorra's nerves were shaken to say the least but he was definitely not going to show it in front of the Shinigami representative. _Must not show weakness. He thought_

"Good evening Orihime. So I guess they sent you as the Shinigami representative?" Ulquiorra asked as they waited for the waiter to seat them.

"What?...Hmm... oh right! Yes that's me!" Inoue quick said after remembering what Matsumoto told her.

"Strange, you would think that they would have sent someone such as Kurosaki Ichigo or someone that was actually a Shinigami." Ulquiorra thought out loud.

"Well, it's because they thought if they sent a Shinigami it would ultimately end up in an argument that would make things worse." Inoue said in a solemn tone. She had the look of despair written all over her face, since it seemed obvious that Ulquorra did not want to be here at all. Much less with her.

"Right this way" the waiter said leading them to a nice, secluded booth.

So they ordered their food in peace. Ulquiorra eventually kept on asking about Shinigami matters, while Inoue tried her best to give answers that would not make Ulquiorra suspect that this was actually a set-up date. After the questions were answered, the mood in the air stayed solemn and quiet. Alas, the silence was broken after a song played called _Sen No Yoru Wo Koete. _

"Would you like to dance?" Ulquiorra said unexpectedly even surprised himself.

"Sure." She said as they walked up and got into the middle of the room to dance along with a few other couples.

_I want to be loved, but you don't seem to love me  
I wander within that repetition  
I found one answer; that even if I'm scared, even if I'm hurt  
I can say "I love you" to the person who I love_

They both listened to the song intently while Orihime decided to put her head down on Ulquiorra's shoulder. He flinched slightly, but he didn't lose his emotions over it.

_Do you love me? Or not love me?__  
As for things like that, it's already fine either way  
No matter how I wish  
There are many unchangeable things in this world, right?  
That's right, and because only the fact of my loving you  
Is the truth unchangeable by anyone_

They both walked back to the table and decided to go elsewhere. So they walked out of the restaurant and wandered to a random park. They sat on the smooth, cold grass near a pond, where ducks were silently sleeping. The mood there was serene, and it was a full moon out also. Inoue opened her mouth as if to say something but, decided against it in the end.

_I want to overcome the thousands of nights and tell it to you  
There's something that I must tell you  
I want to be loved, but you don't seem to love me  
I wander within that repetition  
I found one answer; that even if I'm scared  
Even if I'm hurt, I can say "I love you" to the person who I love  
It's scary to turn my feelings into words  
But I can say "I love you" to the person who I love_

The both got up and silently walked through the park just admiring the scenery. The autumn fall leaves were red and orange and hung on a tree, waiting to slip off onto the floor and be unnoticed by the upcoming winter. The leaves crackled under both of their feet as they walked by, looking at passing joggers, and dog's playing with their owners.

_In this broad world, I can't express the joy of encountering you with words  
So we smile, sing about the vividly passing autumn in do-re-mi  
Turn our backs on winter, wait for the sunlight streaming through trees in spring  
And become reborn anew, so that we can protect someone_

Surprisingly Ulquiorra was the first one to break the silence.

"Orihime... I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for what I did to you back then. I was just following orders. I hope you can forgive me. If not now...then just one of these days I hope you can." Ulquiorra said in a slightly shaken town compared to his usual stoic one.

"Of course I can forgive you. I probably would have done the same..." Inoue said timidly.

"Thank you. Let's just put this matter behind us and pretend that it never happened. Okay?" he said.

_On the path we came from and our destination, when we looked back, I'd always have timid eyes  
I want to face you, but I can't be honest  
I, who repeated days of not being able to straightforwardly love my partner  
And hated being alone on that day  
Seemed to love people while unwounded_

They decided it was getting late and went back to Inoue's house. Ulquiorra wasn't obliged to do that, it was more like an impulse to do so almost. More so a feeling.

"Good night Orihime this was a nice get-together..." He said as he tried his best to avoid the word "date". They were both at the doorsetep of her house. When Orihime decided to do something unexpected to the both of them. She kissed him on his cheek, leaving Ulquiorra to recollect his thoughts about what had just happened. Seeing he was in a sort of daze, Orihime went inside her house and left him to think what that kiss could have meant.

_I'll overcome the thousands of nights and go meet you now  
There is something that I must tell you  
I want to be loved, but you don't seem to love me  
I wander within that repetition  
I found one answer; that even if I'm scared  
Even if I'm hurt, I can say "I love you" to the person who I love  
Even if those thoughts aren't fulfilled, I can say "I love you" to the person who I love  
It's the most wonderful thing in this world_

So after that...confusing moment Ulquiorra made a portal that led back to Hueco Mundo and stepped in. Not even noticing the two people who were following them all this time.

"I can't believe it! He didn't even blush or anything! That was a complete failure and a complete waste of time!" Matsumoto whined as she complained about her wasted time here in the human world.

" I know, I know, we just have to think about another plan for the time being." Grimmjow said glumly. He opened up a portal back to Hueco Mundo and traveled to Los Noches.

"So how was the meeting?" Grimmjow said. He knew what happened of course, since he was following them. He just wanted to make Ulquiorra think otherwise.

"It went well." Ulquiorra said after he got out of his faux body.

Both people that were present in the Los Noches hallway left for their rooms. Grimmjow went to bed with a annoyed expression on his face, while Ulquiorra went to sleep with a slight smile plastered on to his features.

* * *

Matsumoto & Grimmjow's Plan 

FAILURE

* * *

A/N(2): HOLY COW! Sorry for leaving you all hanging. I've been lazy so for that I apoligize! I also have no idea how this chapter got into a Ulquiorrax Orihime thing. Though I tell you sorry for small humor. I actually have ran out of ideas... so if you have an idea please send in a review or e-mail me via my profile. Just wanted to say I'm proud of myself to have over 2000 words D. I could never have gone that far without the review unknownsound gave me. he encourage me to not cancel this fic, so I didn't. Gives him a whole jar of cookies P 


	4. Bring Your Child To Work Day!

Bring Your Child to Work Day!

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH**

* * *

"Sheesh! You play one little prank on the Kuchiki clan, and they all come running after ya!" 

"Pfft that was nothing, I had to go through that and in addition, I had to deal with scattering pink cherry blossoms everywhere!" Renji mumbled

"... hahahaha! That sounded so gay!" Shuuhei said while he laughed his ass off.

"Shut up moron, now the point is what do we do now?"

"I've been thinking about it... you know how Yachiru always seems so hyper?"

"Yeah. What about it?"

"What if we somehow make Byakuya baby-sit her for a day or two?"

"How would we even do that?"

"No idea but, for now let's go see Yachiru, and see if you wants to follow along."

"Yeah, who knows how long we'll have beforethe bet's done."

So they left the 4th division relief squad and began walking toward the 11th division headquarters, hoping that they wouldn't run into any certain Kuchiki clan members. When they finally got there they were greeted by the oh so familiar voice of the 11th division vice captain. She noticed that they came in and immediately said hello to them.

"Hi funny brows!"

"For the last time my eyebrows are not funny!"

"Whatever you say...tattoo face!" Yachiru added,

"Yachiru do you mind doing us a favor?" Shuuhei quickly cut in before Renji had a time to fume.

"Sure! Ken-chan and baldy are talking right now and it's real boring right now."

"It's about Byakuya." Shuuhei said.

"You mean Bya-kun?" Yachiru asked.

"Hmm...yeah sure!" Renji said.

"Okay so what do you want me to do?"

"How would you like to spend a whole day with "Bya-Kun!"

"Eh you mean baby-sit me?!?!" Yachiru asked.

"Yeah and besides he's not a bad guy right?"

"I guess, ok I'll come! Besides he always gives me candy in the end! I'll be at baldy's place when you need me!" The pink haired fukataichou said as she happily skipped off back to the 11th division barracks.

* * *

So now they just had to figure out how Byakuya was ever going to agree with this in the end. While Yachiru followed them, they heard a voice cry out in the distance. 

"Hey Renji!" It was none other than a certain raven-haired shinigami.

"Hi Rukia" Renji said absentmindedly. That's it! He silently thought. He now knew how he was going to get Byakuya to agree to look after Yachiru for a while.

"Rukia, do you mind doing us a favor?"

"Eh that was kinda sudden. What do you need? Nothing outrageous I hope."

"No it's nothing like that...anyway I need you to ask Byakuya if he will baby-sit Yachiru for a day."

" he would never agree to something as riduculous as that."

"That's exactly the point! We need you to ask him for us. Persuade him maybe?"

"What's in it for me?"

"Ah... how about I'll do all your squad's paperwork for a month?" Hoping that she would take the offer. But, since it was Rukia this was evidently not going to work for her.

"No. How about... oh say a shopping spree at Chappy World?" Rukia grinned.

"Ugh... fine just get on Byakuya about that favor."

" Alright, Alright just come back in an hour or so."

"Are you sure about that? I mean it's probably going to end up pretty badly for you. I mean that's more money that we had bet for the entire bet." Shuuhei said while Rukia was out of earshot.

-Shrugs-

"You have to spend money to make money." Renji blandly noted as he thought.

* * *

A few moments later at the Kuchiki estate... 

"Nii-sama... I have a favor to ask of you." Rukia blandly stated out.

"What is it?" Byakuya said in monotone.

"I need you to look after the vice-captain for the 11th division."

"Are you incapable of doing this task?" Byakuya questioned, seeing how the vice-captain did not seem to pose much of task for someone of his...stature.

"Nononono it's not that! It's that I'm busy with the 13th division's paperwork! Plus, Ukitake-taichou's sickness is not getting any better." Hoping that he would not notice that it was a lie, or even worse, that she was incapable of doing something as miniscule as that.

"Ah I see. In the case I will have someone take care of it."

"Ara, that will never work since the vice-captain can be scary at times and others will not want to do it, due to her ties with Zaraki Kenpachi.

-Sighs-

"I still don't see why Kenpachi can't do it."

"It was either that, or I would have to leave for the real world, since she keeps bugging me about asking berry-head to fight Ken-chan. Plus Ichigo's the only one I basically only know so I would have to go sleep at his place again."

-Cough, cough, cough-

"On second thought, I'll do it." Byakuya's weak point was thinking about this brat and his sister. Just thinking about it annoyed him deeply. He hoped she would not fall for him in the end, lest Ichigo be the cause of another execution once again.

"Arigatou Nii-Sama." At this she bowed and immediately left the room. She quickly left to tell Renji of this. Not before grinning at the thought she was going to burn a hole in Renji's pocket. As she left to find Renji she noticed him standing at the 11th division's barracks. Apparently he was amused at the sight of Yachiru biting the head of the one, the only, baldy.

"Hey Renji! Deed's done!" Rukia shouted.

"Alright, alright. Thanks!" He quickly left to tell the details to Yachiru.

"Okay eyebrows! I'll be sure to do everything you told me!" A happy Yachiru said while running off to the Kuchiki estate.

"FOR THE LAST TIME MY NAME IS NOT EYEBROWS!"

"I wouldn't be so sure of that "eyebrows" there is no way your eyebrows can be so fury, seriously!" Rukia said mockingly to Renji.

"Why you..." Renji quietly said as he sprinted off to chase Rukia for her comment.

Back to the Kuchiki estate...

"Byakushi!" Yachiru said happily. Only to find Byakuya doing a numerous amount of paperwork.

"_This is going to be a long day..."_ Byakuya silently thought, so he just proceeded to ignore Yachiru, in hopes that she would just get bored and bug someone else in the mean-time. Unfortunately she was briefed on what to do by Renji so of course this wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

* * *

_**Phase 1: Annoy Byakuya with endless questions.**_

"Byakushi! Why do you wear girly head-clips? Why don't you show emotion? Are we going to eat anytime soon? Why don't you fight Ken-chan sometime? How come you weapon is a bunch of flowers?"

"First of all, my name is not Byakushi. At the very least call me Kuchiki-taichou. Second, these "hair-clips" are not girly. Third, it is my duty as a noble to show some emotion. Fourth-"

"Hahahaha! Byakushi said dootie!"

"No, not that kind of duty." Byakuya said as he was seething inwardly for letting this kid get to him.

"Oh well. Anyway what about my other questions?"

"To begin where I left off... Fourth, you can eat whenever you want, but I'm not going anywhere soon. I can't really, since my vice-captain has been off doing something for a while now." Fifth, I do not want to get involved...in those matters. Fifth, they are elegant and attack wherever I need to."

Phase one?

Failed

_**Phase 2: Mess up his office**_

"What did you just do?"

"I thought your office looked boring, so I colored some of the walls to have more of a lively feel to it!"

"_Byakuya, compose yourself. You don't want this brat destroying years of composure you have worked so hard to keep."_ Easier said than done he thought.

"Then I colored some pictures and put it on the walls..."

"_Just try and ignore her, this probably won't take too long." _As Byakuya sighed, he couldn't help but wonder what else she could do to make him anymore annoyed as it is.

"I also wanted some candy and since you didn't have any, I made some of my own!"

Splattered with sprinkles, random pictures stuck up here and there, plus some colors that did not meld together well with the office. In fact, the office couldn't even be called an office anymore, more like a kindergarten playground.

**Phase 3: If all else fails...**

"What the hell did you bring me here for Yachiru? I hope it's not Kenpachi wanting to have another fight. I want to keep my limbs in-tact thank-you."

Alas, the trump card Yachiru brought to Byakuya's office was Ichigo Kurosaki. Byakuya merely stared at the two in disbelief unaware that this was all part of a certain bet.

"Kurosaki, what are you doing here in Sereitei, let alone my office."

"Ask the pink haired wonder over there. Speaking of which, what the hell is up with your office?! Looks like someone got a little carried away with his Zanpaktou. Maybe your finally losing control eh? I still can't believe you let her do all this to you office! HAHAHAHAHA!" As Ichigo stood there mocking Byakuya, he had other plans for the time being...

"Kurosaki you have no reason for being here so I suggest you get out."

"What's that Byaku-brat? Finally losing your composure?"

"No I am merely giving you a strong suggestion. So I suggest you get out."

"Fine, don't get your kenseikan in a bunch."

So he walked out leaving Yachiru as disappointed as ever. First, she still didn't get any candy, and second Ichigo left without fighting Kenny.

Not all was a total loss. Byakuya noticing that she was disappointed, gave her candy for the time being to keep her busy while he cleaned up his office.

She happily skipped out knowing that at least she got candy in the end.

-Sighs-

"Where to begin, where to begin." He silently murmured while looking at his "newly furnished" office.

* * *

"Augh! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT DIDN'T WORK EITHER! HE MUST HAVE NERVES OF STEEL OR SOMETHING!" 

"Calm down, besides looks like someone you know is heading your way. So I must be going!" Shuuhei said as he left for his division.

"Oi! Renji! Remember the deal? I did you a favor now you have to do me a favor!" Rukia said as she grinned evily.

Yes, this was going to be a long day.

* * *

A/N Sorry I left you hanging. School is being a real ass. But, no one to blame but myself I suppose. Thanks to Lintu Hitose for giving me the idea on Yachiru! I know Rukia was probably OOC along with Ichigo, since I don't really know how they act to much. I know that Byakuya is not the dad of yachiru, but title sounded funnier than what I had originally planned. 

Though I think it was probably horribly written. Either way my morale was shot way down yesterday. Things do not seem to go well with me and school. I have a low self-esteem so just bear with me kay?

Until next time, see you later!


	5. Thanksgiving at the Kuchiki Estate

Thanksgiving at the Kuchiki Estate

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

AN: Couldn't really think of anything for Ulquiorra, so I just decided on having another chapter with Byakuya.

* * *

Well, after a long shopping trip with Rukia, Renji finally went back to his home in Sereitei.

"Jeez, I have to wonder is this bet even remotely worth it?" Renji mumbled to himself.

As he lay in his bed, exhausted, he received a hell butterfly that was an invitation to a Thanksgiving dinner from Kuchiki Byakuya. When he was done, he took a quick doze and woke up the next morning, still tired. As he was walking over to Shuuhei's place he coincidentally ran into Rukia.

"Hey, Renji! Just wanted to say thanks for yesterday!"

"Yeah, yeah, I still can't understand how you could love a rabbit THAT much."

"It's not just a rabbit! It's also a way of life!" She retorted back.

"Anyway I got an invitation from Byakuya yesterday, inviting me to a Thanksgiving dinner he's holding. So since you're here, I guess you're going too?"

"Yeah, not really like I have a choice in the matter anyway. He is my brother after all."

"Well how many people are coming?"

"Not really sure how much, but I estimate about fifty people to attend.

"That's kinda small don't you think?"

"What can I say, he wants to only leave this dinner to family and people he's close to."

-Sigh-

"I guess... well I'll see you at the Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow, Rukia. In the mean time I have to get prepared for something."

"Alright. Well it's been fun chatting with ya."

"Later."

As Renji and Rukia went their seperate ways, Renji thought up a perfect stunt he could pull at the dinner. He just had to confront Shuuhei about it to see if he would be on board with it. As soon as he arrived at Shuuhei's place, he talked to him about the details that he wanted to do at the dinner. Sounds like it's going to be a hysterical party!

"It looks like we're going to have to get some things from the 12th division."

"I don't think Kurotsuchi is going to be to pleased to let these things go either."

"He'll just have to understand one way or another, anyway lets just get there and see what he says."

So the two left for the 12th division in hopes that Kurotsuchi would give them the needed product. Luckily, Kurotsuchi seemed to be in a good mood. Apparently one of his experiments turned out to be a success. So the two approached the captain and flat out asked the captain if he could give them something.

"Hmm..? I think I have one or two lying around here somewhere. You might as well take them, they are not going to be vital for any experiments in the future anyway. That might even provide an interesting outcome."

"So we just tip the liquid and wait?" Shuuhei asked.

"Yes, it shouldn't take too long to take into effect, so you might want to hurry when you finish using it."

So, Mayuri handed over two bottles of green liquid to them. Shuuhei and Renji quickly left not wanting to hear about the experiments that he recently did. Morbid minds and a morbid looking person, don't give off exactly a good vibe.

Well, now the two had nothing to do seeing how the Thanksgiving dinner was tomorrow. So they both exchanged their farewells and left. Renji could mildly picture it in his mind, but, the fact that everyone still remembered the incident before was going to make his plans slightly difficult.

"I should probably prepare for tomorrow. Not really much to prepare, but maybe I'll have to wear something a bit different." Renji thought to himself.

The next day...

-Yawn-

As Renji got up he realized what today was, he left to change and made sure that every step was carefully taken. He definitely could not handle any more slip-ups. Well, he still had one idea left, but that was really only going to be used as a last resort. However, if THAT wasn't going to work, absolutely nothing would. He managed to clean himself up as best as possible, and left for the Kuchiki estate. It never hurts coming early. How wrong he was.

"GET OUT OF THE DAMN WAY!" Someone shouted from the long hallway.

As Renji was about to turn around to see who would even say something like that, all he saw was a blur before the person rushed off in the opposite direction. Weird he thought, Kuchiki must be planning something big. He looked around and heading for the living quarters, hoping to find Byakuya or Rukia somewhere along the way. At least they were more..._polite. _He manage to find Rukia at some point and as he took a quick glance at a clock, he noted that he had about six hours before show time. So as soon as they both exchanged their greetings, Renji immediately asked Rukia where the kitchen was.

"Beat me. This manor is so big, I can only remember the places in the house that are really worth remembering. You should try asking Nii-sama. But, why do you even need to go there in the first place?" It was obvious that she knew Renji was up to something she just couldn't figure out what.

" It's n-n-nothing! I just wanted to know if the preparations would be all kosher for me!" Renji managed to stutter out, hoping she would buy the lame excuse.

"If you say so. Anyway Nii-sama is in the dining hall making sure everything goes smoothly." Rukia said blandly. She didn't really want to push the subject any further, it's not like he would do anything drastic in there right?

He nodded at her and quickly left for the dining hall. He hastily checked his pocket to see if the two vials of liquid were there. When he felt that the two vials were there, he let out a sigh of relief and headed to the dining hall.

He spotted Byakuya saying small orders to those around him, and as soon as he saw that Byakuya had no more other matters to attend to Renji quickly asked him where the kitchen was.

"Why do you need to know something like that?"

" I wanted to let the head chef know that I would like a kosher meal?"

"Really... fine. The kitchen is down the hall on your right. Try not to disturb them."

"Ah, arigatou Kuchiki-taicho" He quickly bowed and headed to the hallway so that his preparations would be complete.

He opened the double doors of the kitchen and couldn't help but whistle and all the supplies. Potatoes squashed everywhere, almost as if people had stepped on them. "That would be quite... unnerving." he thought. Corn in a bowl that didn't even look remotely appetizing and a couple of slightly empty sake bottle in the corner for later.

Now... where is the stuffing? He took a quick glance around the room and came across the sink which had the Turkey thawing there, and notice the stuffing was close by too. He gazed at the clock and found that it was just two hours until the dinner was supposed to start and quickly slipped the two green vials of liquid into the stuffing. He tried to cover up the evidence and ran out of the kitchen.

"Alright well every precaution has been made so far, now all I can do is just wait. He sat on a nearby chair in the dining hall and waited for everything to be finished."

-Two hours later-

-Yawn-

"This thing better start soon or I am going to die from boredom."

"No one asked you to come early you know." Rukia said as she came from behind.

"I had nothing better to do so yeah."

"It looks like it's about to start in five minutes so quit you might as well get up!"

"Harsh! Fine, fine."

He left his lazy position on a chair and went to the dining table where guests were already waiting. He too a seat at the far end of a table and tried to look as dignified as possible. At last it was time for the dinner.

"I hope this works or I am going to be so pissed." Renji silently murmured to himself.

As Byakuya stood at the far end of the table, he said a long speech about the dinner and welcomed everyone here. So long in fact, that must guests were shifting restlessly on the ground.

"Let the dinner begin." Byakuya finally said.

Each house guest took their seat and waited for the Turkey to be passed around. Byakuya was about to cut the Thanksgiving turkey when all of a sudden...

3...

2...

1...

BOOM!

The Turkey blew up, giving everyone a nice helping of stuffing. There were Turkey bits smeared on Byakuya and everyone else at the table, including Renji and Rukia. Renji desperately checked Byakuya's reaction to see if he would show even the slightest kind of anger. If it was there, it had only happened for a moment. Byakuya easily knew that no one would pull such a joke on a formal dinner.

So he had to assume that Renji would go to such lengths to dishonor the Kuchiki name. He did it before so why would he not do it again?

"Renji... I will give you a few seconds to get out of my sight or you will have to deal with my Shikai again... 3, 2, 1-"

He did not have to be told twice, however there was also one more person he would have to deal with. Now he was being chased by pink flower petals AND some ice based attacks courtesy of Kuchiki Rukia.

Yes this was just your average day in Sereitei. Anyone want some Sakura ice cream? You can really feel the brain freeze here folks!

* * *

A/N: Ok I know Thanksgiving was about a week and a half ago, but I had originally started this chapter last Saturday. Anyway I expect this story to be done in about two chapters I guess. It's going to be really difficult to update more so because I recently grew bold enough to try Resident Evil 4 lol. It definitely kicks ass!

As for the name change, I changed it for personal reasons, it seems that my old screen name was universal for other stuff... Any how if anyone recognizes this name from a different game I used to play, don't hesitate to pm me if you like.


	6. Complexion Protection

Complexion Protection

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

* * *

After waking up from his long sleep, he recalled the events the night before and made sure that not a single soul would learn or talk about it. He glided along the white tiled building and left for the restroom. He did his daily chores and checked the usual things in his mind:

Brush? Check

Straighten mask? Check

Wash face? Check

Eat a soul? Check

Make sure to have a white complexion? Unchecked.

So now that he knew of one thing he did not do yet, he proceeded to go see Szayel in the upper floors of the building. With a knock he quietly said that it was that time of the month. Szayel opened up the door and silently chuckled at what Ulquiorra had said. If he was a girl that would have been a different story. Either way, Szayel knew why he was here once again. It was only due to one simple reason really. He actually requested this favor about 50 years ago. How nervous he was at that time too.

---Flashback---

"_Why is it that every time I wash my face, my complexion seems to get darker? Plus it almost seems I am wearing another type of face mask even though I have my broken hollow mask on my face." Ulquiorra said out loud to no one in particular. _

_He heard the shuffling noises of someone behind him and nodded in acknowledgment at the presence of the arrancar, Szayel Aporro Granz._

"_If you're that bothered about it, I have some tests you could take to see what is wrong with you." Szayel said._

"_I guess... maybe it's something that even you don't have in your data. It could prove beneficial to the both of us."_

"_Just come back at around 4 PM and I should have all of the necessary equipment ready"_

"_Arigotou. He bowed to him and quickly left."_

_This happened way before he had his strong demeanor. As a beginning Espada, he surely did not want to make any new enemies as it is so he treated everyone with great respect. In return, everyone seemed content that Ulquiorra had replaced the previous Espada._

_It was four o'clock and Ulquiorra knocked on Szayel's door with apprehension. He knew that this particular Espada liked to conduct some very inhumane experiments. But who was he to judge? He wasn't even human so it probably didn't really matter anyway._

"_Come in." The voice was basically blunt and to the point as far as voices went._

_Ulquiorra stepped in and marveled at all the random lab equipment scattered about. There were vials filled with strange liquid, beakers with strange objects in them, and a banana tree growing in the corner. Well trying to grow at least. With no real sunlight going on, the tree was basically growing into mulch. Probably trying to grow artificial fruit he thought. He tried fruit once and that much exceeded his expectations on human food. It was better than just breathing air all the time and eating random souls. Of all the souls he had eaten none of them had been close to satisfactory. _

"_Here just sit on the chair and it will probe your body for any irregularity."_

_He sat on the chair which greatly resembled that of a dentist chair. _

"_Now sit perfectly still." _

_A red laser beam poured out of the machine in front of him and he sat perfectly still for several moments. When the beam was finally done analyzing him he was finally able to move and stood up when Szayel asked him to come over. _

"_Well there is nothing really wrong with you. At first I thought it was what the humans called "skin cancer" but it is not. I mean how the hell do you expect to get some sunlight in this godforsaken place?! Even hell would be better alternative! This place is always sand, nothing but this. When I first came here, I almost drowned in quicksand! Sticky little bugger that thing is. Well anyway that sand gate guardian saved me in the nick of time."_

_As Ulquiorra listened to his rant he could not help but feel bored. Before Szayel could say anything more, he quickly cut him off and asked if he was finished here. When Szayel said yes, he turned to leave. _

"_There's just one thing, your skin has an abnormality when you get exposed to sunlight for a couple of minutes. You know how it takes most people weeks to get a tan? Well that doesn't apply to you. In fact, you get a tan probably in say... thirty minutes to an hour. Since you only stay in the human world for no more than 10 minutes, your skin has been getting slightly darker in the past months. I'm just surprised you have only noticed it now. I can give you something to stop the effects if you like."_

"_That would be great."_

"_There is just one thing, always make sure to apply this ointment before you leave Los Noches. Otherwise... well I shall let you find out in the couple of weeks."_

"_Understood, thanks."_

"_Don't hit yourself on the way out!"_

_Szayel was still Szayel when it came to the big picture. Always cruel, tossing out weird jokes from time to time. Well he was better than Grimmjow actually. He never did respect Ulquiorra in any way. He thought that he was a butt kisser to the higher ups of Hueco Mundo. How right he was. He always looked for a fight regardless of who it was. A big annoyance really. _

---End Flashback---

When Ulquiorra came down from the higher levels of the white place, he was holding a white tube in hand. Grimmjow, noticing this, decided to question him on what he was holding.

"Hey Ulquiorra what do you have there?" Grimmjow asked.

"None of your business." Ulquiorra answered back.

"Tch. There are only two rooms up there; one belongs to Szayel and the other belongs to Halibel. So my guess is you went for make-up from Halibel? Hahaha! That's really rich."

"You are wrong Grimmjow Jeagerjaques but why explain to myself to you." He said in a cold tone

"You're just a prissy boy and I bet your gay too!" Grimmjow said mockingly.

"Get out of here right now."

"Aw did I hit a nerve?"

"Just get out."

"Fine, fine you don't have to be a stuck up bitch about it you know!"

Grimmjow took a swift leave and went to go ask the two Espada what Ulquiorra was doing. So he knowcked on the door of the only current female Espada, Halibel. He knocked on the door and waited for her to answer the door.

"Hey Halibel, I saw Ulquiorra coming downstairs from here so I thought he was going to go talk to you. Did he talk to you about anything recently?"

"No, there was no reason for him to do so."

"Damn, I thought I was going to have a chance to poke fun at him."

"Why don't you go ask Szayel, he's not the only occupant on this floor you know."

"Alright I know when I am not wanted. So seeya!"

With those words he left her doorway and proceeded to Szayel's room. Who knew what was hidden behind those doors. He knocked on the door, so that he would not run into any possible experiments that he may have been conducting. When the door opened, Grimmjow flat out asked if Ulquiorra stopped by here.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, he did. Why?"

"I wanted to know what that tube he held in his hand was."

"Ah that well I am sure that he would not want that matter discussed with you, but I'll tell you anyway."

"See what I gave him was an ointment for his skin. It's supposed to guard him from sunlight, almost like a shield from the UV rays. It doesn't really do anything here on Hueco Mundo, but when he makes trips to earth, well let's just say that it keeps his skin looking white. Well if he doesn't apply it well..."

"Well what?"

"I'd rather not say."

"Fine but just let me ask you this. If he doesn't put it on will he be humiliated on some degree? Enough to make him be pissed off?"

"Erm probably."

"Good, can you give me something that looks like his ointment but is not it at all? Maybe something like lotion or something."

"Yeah as a matter of fact, I have something like that. Hold on let me just go get it."

He walked off into his room to get a lotion bottle which greatly resembled what Ulquiorra had. The only thing Grimmjow had to do was switch the bottles then the plan would be set. Though he had to figure out when Ulquiorra was going to head out to Karakura town soon.

"Here just don't tell him that I gave this to you."

"Riiightt okay."

Grimmjow slowly backed out of the hallway and turned to go down the stairs. He had a feeling that Szayel had a plan somewhere in all of this. But if it made Ulquiorra lose it then he would be fine with it. He left to find Ulquiorra's room then switch the two items. With the plan in his mind he set off to hopefully find that Ulquiorra would be going on a mission soon. Grimmjow finally found Ulquiorra's room and knocked on the door as an extra precaution. If he was in, then that was great. If not, crap. To his luck, Grimmjow found the room empty. He saw the container on Ulquiorra's desk and quickly switched the two items. He swiftly left the room and went to the dining room. He found Ulquiorra there and asked him when he was going to the human realm. Luckily Ulquiorra said that he had to attend to matters there in the human realm today. When Ulquiorra questioned his motives, he just said that he wanted to go to Karakura town today to talk to a certain ditzy blond. Ulquiorra seemed to buy that lie, and opened a Garganta to Karakura. Both Grimmjow and Ulquiorra stepped in and found their way to Karakura. They both parted ways and Grimmjow quickly hid his reiatsu and tried to tail Ulquiorra.

Surprisingly Ulquiorra was wandering around and talking to random hollows he found around the streets. None of them were particularly afraid of him, but they nonetheless respected him. At around the second hour Ulquiorra started to notice something amiss with him. He shrugged it off and used Sonido to leave. By this time, Grimmjow was getting bored. So he decided to visit his enemy and see what he was up to. When he faded through into his room Ichigo immediately changed into his shinigami form with the use of his badge.

"Dammit Grimmjow what the hell are you doing here?" Ichigo said while immediately going into defensive stance.

"Hey take it easy, I'm just here cuz I'm bored."

"That's a relief. But still, what are you doing here?"

"Well I need a favor from ya. It involves Ulquiorra. I need you to fight him for just a little while. It won't be anything lethal, just think of it as a fun sparring battle."

"Hn. I don't really trust you, but since you helped me in the war, then fine. Where is the stuck-up bastard anyway?"

"Tch, your reiatsu sensing skills still suck you know that? He's in the outskirts of Karakura town not really doing much of anything."

"Shut up, besides I can still kick your ass."

"ONE TIME that was fucking one time let it go!"

"Let's just go already."

They both used their version of flash step and found Ulquiorra by himself, meditating in the sun. When he noticed someone looking down on him, Ulquiorra blinked and saw the face of Kurosaki Ichigo, still looking as cocky as ever.

"What do you want." Ulquiorra said as more of a demand than a question.

"I wanted to spar with you do you mind?" Ichigo said.

"Hm. It's been ages since I have fought anyone remotely decent."

"The hell? I've been fighting you a lot for the past couple of months!" Grimmjow said

"Your point being?" Ulquiorra said.

"Screw you." Grimmjow mumbled under his breath.

"Listen, I hate to break up your lover's quarrel, but can we get started?" Ichigo asked.

Ulquiorra got up from his sitting position and took a defensive position. Ulquiorra felt the soreness of his muscles and quietly thought to himself. He ignored the alien feeling and waited for Ichigo to make the first move. When he did, Ulquiorra simply made a block with his sword and when he parried the attack, he couldn't help but groan in pure agony. Ichigo, noticing this stopped and walked over to him and talked to him.

"The hell is wrong with you?" Ichigo asked him questioningly.

He poked him in the forehead to see if Ulquiorra was being himself. Surely that would set him off.

"DAMN! THAT STINGS LIKE A FUCKING BITCH!" Ulquiorra with no care that he did not keep his motions in check.

The three there was really surprised at Ulquiorra's choice of words and Grimmjow couldn't help but feel pleased with himself. He looked upon the face of Ulquiorra to see that instead of his usual white complexion, he had a red face. Ichigo noticing this, remarked on Ulquiorra's status.

"Eh? Looks like he got sun burned."

"What the hell is that?" Grimmjow asked.

"It's a skin condition that happens when a person has been out in the sun too long. So if you poke him wherever he's red it stings like hell for him.

"Ha! Looks like I won the bet!"

"Bet what bet?" Both Ichigo and Ulquiorra asked.

"I made it with a guy name Renji, and we were trying to see who would lose their cool first."

"You WHAT?!" Ulquiorra exclaimed.

"You heard me."

"You are so dead. Once I get better that is."

"Look, next time try using some sunblock or sunscreen. Your face is starting to take a blackish color."

"What's sunblock?" Grimmjow and Ulquiorra both asked.

"Oy Vey!" Ichigo exasperatedly exclaimed to no one in particular.

* * *

Well this fic is basically done. But poor Renji doesn't know that. The next chapter is basically to poke fun at Byakuya and see what it takes for him to lose it. It could be called the epilogue... but no promises on the next chapter. I might update but for now this fic has come to an end. Thanks to the all the reviewers! 

Waya.Y for being the first reviewer

Sesshyro for actually not giving up on this story and reviewing twice

unknownsound for telling me to continue this fic

byarenfan I am glad you enjoyed it

Lintu Hitose for providing the idea with Yachiru

ulqurria is awsome for really reviewing a lot

Gaignun Girl for reviewing at all

m for reviewing and reading my story

dorothy-of-akatsuki for reading and providing motivation to keep on writing

Amberle Snowdrift for telling me to keep up the good work, lol

khooxp for reviewing the day this fic was completed o.o

* * *

Anyway here is a preview on what the next chapter would be like. 

"Freeloader-san what are you doing here?" Urahara asked.

"I told you to stop calling me that!" Renji exclaimed.

"Anyway I wanted to see Ririn, Cloud, and Nova. I needed a favor from them."


End file.
